Be A Good Girl Friend…

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I’ve been living in L.A. for 3 years and my circle of girl friends is relatively  small in this city. I mean really small as in almost doesn’t even exist . I have made TWO friends since I’ve been here and one of them was in the last month of 2015. Don’t go feeling sorry for me because I’m not sad about it at all. I live in a city people flock to, to make their dreams a reality, so most “friendships” are fickle and very see through. People usually only want to be around you to use you for something or in a few cases when people find out how good you are at your craft they feel threatened as if there isn’t space for the both of you in the industry. Outside of L.A. I have a network of friendships that span countries and time, some going back over 10 years and some are almost a decade younger than I am. Those women are my support system, they uplift me and keep me moving forward even without seeing each other or talking regularly. In today’s fast paced world of social media, reality t.v. and technology, it’s no secret that the ugly side of girl friends is drug the pits of friendship hell and put on display for the entire universe to see. Like many of you, I often see or hear about the latest feuds between reality t.v. “friends”, pseudo-celebs (social media famous) feuding and airing all their “friendship” business on twitter, snapchat or tumblr. Each time, I cringe because in no way, shape or form would I ever do that to my friends and then make up and be friends taking selfies together a few weeks or months later.

So here’s my guide to how to NOT BE LIKE the scripted women you see on T.V. & social media doing it for “likes, follows or re-tweets”. I hope you enjoy and learn something :

(In no particular order)

Rule #1-  Don’t Be Petty….

nene-leakes-kenya-moore-that-grape-juice-entertainment-2014-800-600x335…unless of course you are being petty TOGETHER and not towards each other.  There is absolutely nothing worse for a friendship than being petty or doing so simply because the other person is. It makes you both look immature and could kill things between you too. So before you press send on that rude ass text message…put the phone down and just don’t respond right away or ever. Who knows what she’s in her feelings about and it may not even have anything to do with you. We all have our days, so unless your friend is #teampetty all the time, let her slide sometimes. In the event that she is always #teampetty it’s time to reevaluate your friendship and consider why you’re even still friends with her.

Rule #2 – Be There…and Not Just For the “Turn-Up”

girlfriends8Life is hard out here as a millennial trying to conquer the world and still look cute. We are friends because we need each other on our journeys towards greatness so act like it always. A good girl friend is there for you when you are having a melt down over your latest crush and also there for you when you want to celebrate getting promoted, turning 30 and so on.  Don’t become known as the friend that’s always down to vacation and party but never responds to texts or answers the phone at odd hours when your girl really needs your shoulder to cry on. Her problems might not be a big deal to you because you easily see the solution but a good girl friend is still there to listen and make her friend feel a little better.

Rule #3 – Keep Her Business to Yourself

girlfriends10No matter how hot the tea is, you have no business sharing it, not even with your other friends. Let your girl friend share her news on her own time and not be forced to clarify anything because you opened your big mouth. That is the quickest way to lose trust and create a rift between you two. Even if it’s good news such as an engagement, CLOSE YOUR MOUTH until she lets you know you can share. If you aren’t the type who can keep secrets because of your excitement then its OK to share that with your friends so you won’t get yourself into any unpleasant situations.

Rule #4 – Have Her Back…Always

anigif_mobile_3cb367a8f3b80ac7f9eeb552d73cda3f-3Sometimes you may be around people who don’t care for your friend or maybe just are jealous of her. The best thing for you to do is to always have your friend’s back! Don’t indulge in the gossip because it will make you look 10x worse. You’re supposed to be HER bestie and you’re only adding fuel to the haters fire (and they’ll gossip  about your lack of loyalty). Stay true to your friend and shut down the gossip about her, set them straight about her and remove yourself from the situation and of course you must tell her asap.  My only question when people tell me what someone else said about is, “what did you say about me in my defense”? Don’t be the girl who indulges in all the gossip no matter who it’s about.

Rule #5 – Always be REAL

Living-SingleIf you’re not a fashionista that’s OK. If you’re not a book enthusiast that’s OK. If you really really really love Comic-Con that’s OK. We just want  you to be you…always. Don’t try to morph into your friend and take on all of their likes and passions in life. Be yourself because nobody else can be you. The best friendships are formed when people have a genuine connection and mutual respect for one another. Your good friends can always tell when you’re not being authentic and good friends will always call you out on it so always be YOU. You don’t have to like all the same things or even people to be friends.

Rule #6 Always SLAY 

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I know this rule may sound very vain but think about it….who lets their best friends go out looking anything less than snatched? Even if its a low-key day in tights, tees and sneakers you can pull it together in a cute around the way kind of outfit with some hoops and winged liner and pop of color on the lips. Real friends slay together and never leave one another behind. There’s nothing worse than seeing “friends” out together and one of them looks stunning head to toe while the other one looks like a she just got off the late shift at the 24/7 super center. Come on….don’t let your friends outside looking like that, not even on her worst day. A fresh face and a nice outfit can brighten any day 🙂


 

Of course this list isn’t all inclusive and maybe you don’t even agree but based on my experiences and friendships…these few basic principles are always foundations for long friendships. Remember, it even says in the bible, love your neighbor as you love yourself. So how you treat your friends is really a true reflection of how you feel about yourself.  Feel free to share with me below if you have your own rules for girl friends!


Good friends are like the little voice in your head reimagined in human form


 

 

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You, Me and She…

 

 

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Dating is VERY difficult and quite risky when you consider everything you have to lose if the person you bet on fails you. But we all desire to love and be loved in return so we throw all caution out the window and place all bets on another person and hope for the best. Well…sometimes it all turns out to be worth the risk and we fall madly in love, create a beautiful life together and live out our versions of happily ever after. Other times when we least expect it, the other person removes their mask and we end up in a tangled web of lies, deceit and hurt feelings. I’ve found myself in not one, not two,  but THREE different UNWANTED love triangles and here is what happened:

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I met him in a dorm room vibing out to music over conversations about life, career, growing up and travel. We immediately clicked and exchanged numbers. We started working on music together and he would rap some very hot lyrics over my melodic beats.  Our musical chemistry lead to frequent lunches & coffee meet ups  to continue conversations on an array of topics. Over the next 2 months our friendship grew and the attraction between us could be felt by anyone in our vicinity. We started dating, spending lots of time together & eventually planned a weekend getaway together. The day before our trip his GIRLFRIEND and her BFF followed me home and approached me about this man.  PAUSE…My first thought was how does he even have a girlfriend if he’s always with me? Where does she think he is all that time? My next thought was, are these bitches planning to jump me? But it didn’t play out like that at all. The girlfriend simply asked me to stop chasing him. She had already found out about me and talked to him first. Of course, he told her I meant nothing, we weren’t serious and that she was the one he wanted. I was shocked, hurt and then I laughed. I told her everything about our budding romance and even forwarded her his text messages and let her hear his voice mails (yes he was that careless). I felt bad for her because she was really in love with him. She told me they were planning a wedding and I could tell that even though she was hurt she was still going to marry him and SHE DID …a few months later. I never heard from him after that day and once I told our circle of friends what happened, it turns out they all KNEW. The only people who were in the dark were myself and his girl friend. Nobody wanted to speak up and warn me BEFORE it  became an embrassing  situation. I stopped hanging out with that group of “friends” because clearly they didn’t have my best interest at heart.

bmjn15204_clip4Triangle 2: Mr. Married but Separated

I moved to a new city and on my 1st day in town I met a very charming man. I told him I was new and he offered to show me around. I gave him my number and he invited me to a college basketball game later that week. We met at the game and had a great time together. He introduced me to his friends and colleagues as his future girlfriend and I thought his confidence was cute. From there, we dated…I mean he really courted me and was the PERFECT gentleman. He never forced anything or moved too fast and I liked that about him the most. His mom(or so I thought) called him once while we were in the car together and he told her how happy I made him. About 3 months passed and I was at his home one evening for dinner. I had to use the bathroom and he was out of toilet paper. Since this wasn’t my first time in his home  and we were dating I felt comfortable looking under the sink for more toilet paper and that’s where things went south. Under the sink were boxes of tampons, pads, nail polish remover and other female hygiene products. I completely forgot I had to pee and grabbed a handful of toiletries and walked back to his dining room to ask, “who’s tampons are these?” The look on his face was sheer panic. He tripped over his words as he was searching for a logical explanation. His response was a name…a woman’s name. I paused and said who the ___ is that? He then told me she was his wife and she was temporarily living in another country for work. I flew into a fit of pure rage. I started yelling at him for putting my life in danger (what if she had come home and I was there in HER house).. He swore they were “separated” and OK with seeing other people, she wasn’t crazy and more lies. I wasn’t buying any of that BS and I stormed out of his home leaving spilled tampons and nail polish in my wake. He called me so much after that I had to change my number. He still wouldn’t leave me alone so I did some investigating on social media and figured out who his wife was (it wasn’t a hard process). I emailed her and told her everything. THIS stopped his stalking immediately! I never heard back from her either but  I guess she handled her business.

popeTriangle 3: The Single Father

I met him in a training course for work. The first day of class he came in late and the only seat open was next to mine. I’ll admit because he wasn’t a black man, I never really noticed him as dating material. Over the course of the training class ( a few weeks) we worked together on group assignments and got to know one another. He was funny, cultured, a doting father and a part-time dance instructor. The course was located in his city & I didn’t know anyone so he asked me to join his group of friends for a dance class and dinner. I was reluctant but I went and had a blast dancing and hanging out with his friends. After that we started having lunch together every day connecting over shared interests. My birthday was approaching and since I was away from my friends and family he made it a point to make sure my day was special. I tried to stop him but he insisted and I had one of the best birthdays to date. I didn’t  see him until the evening of my birthday because he pre-paid for everything I had done all day. At dinner in a very nice restaurant,  we talked about relationships past and what we both wanted moving forward. He expressed his interest in moving to my city for a job opportunity and the added bonus was that I already lived there.  One of my last nights in town I was over his place looking through photos of his child and their adventures together. I noticed the mother wasn’t in the photos and we had briefly spoken about her. He told me she was younger and wasn’t the best mom and needed to mature some more so he was doing the best he could as a dad. He went as far as to mention how he thought I’d love the child and they’d love me in return when we met someday. It really touched my heart to see a man being so dedicated to making a good life for his child. Days later I flew back home and on my second night back  home I got a call from his number around 2am. It was odd but I answered anyway and as soon as I said hello…a woman burst into tears. She was crying so hard I couldn’t even make out a word she was trying to say. I hung up and sat up in bed wondering what the hell was happening. She called back immediately and asked me if my name was Ros and it is soooo…She told me was his fiance and they had a child together and he had asked her to move to a new city with him soon. She was a few years younger and had religious parents who understood her mistake but  suggested they wait until after marrying to live together.  She told me how she got him drunk on purpose, drove him home from the club, watched him passed out and give her the perfect  time to call me. I talked to her into the day light morning hours and told her I was sorry this was happening to her but I was MOVING ON and didn’t even need to talk to him to break things off.  She wanted me to call him so she could hear the whole thing go down but I was against it. I never wanted to talk to him again. She actually wanted to be my friend ( we’re not friends). She wanted to lean on me and call on me to help her pick up the pieces of her life. I felt really bad for her  because I wasn’t emotionally invested so my heart wasn’t broken at all. I was happy to know early on what kind of person he was and thankful for a great birthday at no cost to me.  She was devastated over what happened  but I knew I didn’t need to stay in touch with either of them. I gave her advice and prayed for her and then I hung up. She found me online and started befriending me on everything and I eventually had to block her and change my number again!

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So yeah….dating sucks sometimes. It’s hard to trust another  person out sight out of mind. But can you believe that I am still NOT opposed to love. I never once bashed those men afterwards I simply cut off all communication and chakled it up to a just being a part of life. I never considered that “all men are dogs”  mindset.  Instead I gathered my pride & my self-respect and moved on with my life. I had zero intentions of dating  someone’s man  so I feel no guilt over anything. As soon as I found out the truth I removed myself from the situations immediately. I never tried to talk to those men to find out what happened or why they lead me on. They had already lied to me so I didn’t need to ask them to continue to lie to me just so my feelings wouldn’t hurt as bad.  I’m in a wonderful healthy relationship with someone I love, trust, respect and admire and I FEEL all of things in return from him. I can only hope that if another woman finds herself opposite me in similar situation that she will treat me with the same level of respect as I have done. Things get messy when the “other woman” fully knows that she is in fact the other woman and she’s comfortable in that lane and happily playing along. I will NEVER lower my self-respect to such a level and neither should you.


If both women think they’re the only ONE, neither is the side chick


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What Resolution…

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Every year we all make promises to ourselves about what we plan to do, change or stop doing in the new year. It’s a great concept in theory but…no one actually sticks to it. By March at the latest most people have forgotten about the promises they made to themselves and are already back to the same traits and habits they are comfortable with. For me, resolutions were kind of my thing until the last few years. I changed my life and moved across country and I’ve been dealing with all the stress and emotions that come with living in a new place around new people doing new things. So in essence, my last 2 years have been one big list of things to do, change or stop doing. I didn’t need to make a resolution for that, I simply just decided to improve my life and it didn’t take me waiting until December 31st to do so.

This January as you log on to social media and see your friends and family declare things they hope to change and accomplish do what I do and remind people…you don’t have to wait until January 1st to change anything! Why suffer through something you’re not happy with in July simply because you want to make a statement about deciding to change on December 31st? The whole point of that is silly. If your goal has been to lose weight and eat healthier, you don’t need to keep telling your self that next year will be your year. You can START right now on Dec 29th. Putting off your growth (adult decisions) until a later date is actually doing you more harm than good. That way of thinking is keeping you in an unhealthy pattern of lying to yourself and letting yourself down. Of course there’s a small margin of people who make resolutions and actually stick to them BUT the majority never stick to them. By the end of the year, most people have forgotten what they resolved to do on December 31st of the previous year, so they make the same exact resolution again for the next year.

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Whatever it may be that you want to improve about yourself…JUST DO IT! Stop waiting on some magical clock to strike 12 and transform your carriage back into a pumpkin and give you a fresh start. Every day you open your eyes and inhale LIFE is a fresh start. Don’t let the hype over a calendar trick you into thinking that the next year will be YOUR year or your time. Your time is NOW. Your year of successfully making a commitment and sticking to it begins NOW. Tomorrow isn’t promised for any of us so there’s absolutely no logical point to declaring what you will change next year. There are 365 days in a calendar year and you can take action steps NOW to begin working out, eating better, quit smoking, write a book, travel more, quit your job, move to a new city, etc TODAY. If you start working on your goals NOW you will possibly have something amazing to actually celebrate on December 31st next year. Trust me it’s so much sweeter to end a calendar year in celebration of your accomplishments instead of ending the year with promises to yourself over things you want to accomplish in the future. It’s totally OK to make resolutions on March 1st, May 22nd or Thanksgiving Day. Don’t let a calendar holiday and a clock tell you when it’s time to improve your life.

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Celebrate life in the present, reflect on your past and plan for the future TODAY!


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Surviving the Holidays…

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year and that means visiting family and extended family.  If you’ve moved away from your family, whether 30 mins or 30 hours away you may be looking forward to visiting and catching up with everyone. You may also only be looking forward to maybe seeing your favorite cousin, hanging out with your old neighborhood friends or tasting your grandmother’s delicious desserts. For some, the holidays are not usually a joyous occasion and this is my take on how you should handle the stress, the snide comments and enjoy your Ho, Ho, Holiday!

a-madea-christmas-movie-wallpaper-22As you’re packing, boarding the plane, train or driving, start mentally preparing yourself for the family members that ALWAYS have something shady to say. You know the one aunt who hugs you and then takes a dig at your weight, hair choice, or even your life choices.  You don’t have to be unreasonably rude but you can firmly state that your life decisions don’t have to be approved by the family before making them. You aren’t there for the bullshit so say your one liner, smile and move past her! It’s Christmas and either she can respect you or simply stop talking to you (you want her to stop talking to you ).

xmas-fights-181215-640x457So you’ve recently had a child and most of your family hasn’t been around you and all your glory of motherhood/fatherhood. Naturally, they’ll all want to cuddle, kiss, and feed your child. You may have your own way of doing things and your family may not understand so this may cause tension. It’s OK to tell your family that you don’t feed your child certain things. It’s OK to tell your family that you don’t want them kissing your child. They mean well but you’re concerned about the health of your baby not their feelings. You can express this nicely but expect some attitudes from some people. Honestly they’ve raised kids so they think they know it all. That’s normal but remember that you’re a parent now too and you and your partner know what’s best for your little one. If they won’t stop pestering you start asking questions about their kids.

Nia-Long-Eddie-Cibrian-CoverYou’ve decided to take your new boo home with you for the holidays. This can go really well because you’re so sure everyone will love him/her as much as you do. This bold move could also not go over well with some members of your family who may use this moment to be super shady. Unfortunately some members of your family are judgmental whether it’s over race, sex or age.  Be prepared for those family members who always ask tons of questions. You don’t have to answer and God forbid they try to make you guys have the marriage talk. With that thought in mind don’t take someone home you aren’t serious about. You may have to really defend your relationship and it may be VERY awkward if you aren’t even sure if  they  are planning to stick around at least until next Christmas.

ill-be-home-for-christmasPerhaps you haven’t graduated college yet because you’ve changed your major again. Perhaps you don’t have children yet because you are focusing on your career. Perhaps you didn’t bring a date this Christmas or the one before because you are enjoying the single life. Some members of your family may be really opinionated about your choices. You don’t have to explain anything to anyone about your life BUT just know that the opinions will come. I want to believe that families are so opinionated because they love you and want the best for you. But when they are bombarding you with questions, pointing out your age, reminding you of who’s having kids and getting married and you’re not…it doesn’t feel much like love or like for that matter. Try to keep your cool and remind them of all the AWESOME things  you are doing with your life. Don’t feel pressured to make major life decisions over Christmas break.

The holidays are wonderful but can be stressful with family. If you’re going home for the holidays or are already there, stick to the more positive family members. It’s perfectly fine to only associate and hang out with the people who genuinely have an interest in your life and they support your choices without all the extra shade. As you’re sitting down for dinner have your favorite bottle of wine close by and take a seat in between your two favorite relatives. Make the holiday as joyous and as stress free as you can for yourself. Remember, when Christmas is over,  you will hug everyone goodbye (maybe) and go on with your life as planned until the next family event. I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

 

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XOXO…Ros


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Who Are Your Bridesmaids?

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“Surprise I’m getting married!” These joyful words have been said to me with much excitement or as much as I could imagine via text twice and actually over the phone once throughout the past year. What followed next was the very serious question, “Will you be my bridesmaid?” I’ve had to decline each person who has asked and here’s why:

Your wedding day is a sacred occasion whether it’s your first time or your second time. It’s a very blessed day in your life. I don’t feel comfortable and I don’t think anyone should, standing next to you on one of the most important days of your life when the two of us don’t really know one another that well. I mean sure we may trade memes over social media or even may have hung out together a few times through the years or we may have gone to college together but do we really know one another right now? You have to ask yourself, what do I really know about this woman besides what she posts on social media?

I gave some advice to my now adopted younger sister in the months leading up to her wedding. At the time she and I had only recently met so by no means was I expecting her to ask me (and she didn’t) to be in her wedding. While discussing her wedding plans and her bridal party, I told her that your bridesmaids should be women you love, trust, know and can depend on no matter what may happen over the course of your marriage. Will these women throw you a baby shower? Will they be there for you when motherhood gets tough? Will they be there offering up a shoulder, an ear, and only good advice when marriage gets rough? Do you trust that they won’t gossip about your life? Can you share with them your fears, worries and not so brilliant ideas? If you can answer yes to all of these questions then you may have chosen the right people to share such a personal moment in your life. Wedding photos last forever and the last thing anyone wants is to look back at their pictures and be able to say that some of the people pictured are no longer in your life for various reasons.

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We’ve all seen photos of enormous wedding parties and each time I see them I wonder how well the bride and groom actually know these people. I mean sure you could have 10 besties or 10 sisters and there’s nothing wrong with being so lucky. However if you’ve asked any bride (I have! ) who had a lot of people in their wedding, they will most likely tell you that they wish they hadn’t had such a large bridal party. All of the brides I’ve spoken to have told me about the drama, insincere “fake” happiness for you, unwanted opinions and even 1 bridesmaid’s closeted crush on the brides groom!!! On the other hand I’ve heard stories about how some of the brides never even spoke to their bridesmaids again after the wedding. I know it all sounds extreme and by NO MEANS am I a bad bridesmaid. But when choosing your wedding party you have to consider everything and not just how great she’ll look walking down the aisle with your future husband’s cousin because they are the same height.

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I wish each of the women who have asked me to be in their wedding nothing but lots of love, a blessed union and all of strength, courage, and wisdom that every wife needs at some time or another in life. I cannot in good conscience stand next to anyone on their big day when I know nothing about the woman they are now and the journey they took to get there.  If I’m invited and my schedule permits, I’ll be there on your day smiling and probably crying because I’m a sucker for love. I hope you all can understand why I have to decline your gracious offer.


Your wedding day is a ceremony joining you with another for the rest of your lives. Not everyone deserves to be a part of that moment in time.


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Dear Family…

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Many people wish they could’ve chosen the family they were born into or perhaps trade some of them like an NFL draft and I am no exception to this wish. As a child I loved all of you, even your bad habits because they made you, YOU. I worked hard to make you all proud of me. I worked hard because I carried OUR name and I never wanted to bring shame or disgrace to it. By all accounts I became a success and all you have done is lie to me.

Remember the time you rallied together and tried to convince my grandmother to have me aborted because that’s what you assumed would be best? Remember the times you tried to tell me indirectly that I would never be anything? Remember when you assumed that I’d end up a teen-mom and “just like my mama”? You only made me stay a virgin until 17 (graduation year) because I wanted to prove you wrong so thank you for that much. Remember how you put my cousin and I against one another and we were only about 10 years old? Over the years, you made everything between us a competition and even when I tried to dumb myself down to LET her get better grades, wear my clothes, and even teach her about makeup….all you did was continue to push us a part until she and I stopped talking completely.

I know all about the times you have spit venom on my name to your very own children simply because they aspired to be like me. Remember when your sons reached out to me for career advice and you told them to do the exact opposite of what I said. I know I’m not perfect but everything you are, I AM NOT! Now your sons never call or come home. Your daughters hoped to follow in my footsteps and become great young women. Instead you told them lies about me and now they are doomed by following in your footsteps towards the past you refuse to tell them about because you forgot that every saint was once a sinner.

How about the time you stole my identity? I’m nothing to aspire to according to you but you actually STOLE MY IDENTITY and lived off my name for 2 years. Remember when I couldn’t even get an apartment or buy a car until I cooperated with the FBI over my OWN identity. How about after it all hit the fan, you became angry with me for reporting you to the authorities? It took me years to regain control over the mess you made of my financial life.

Remember when you used to have card parties, sell stolen goods, pimp girls, strip at clubs all over the South, do drugs, count stacks of drug money and traffic girls across the country? Who was right there listening, watching, and riding along? I was! You taught me so much about the streets and NOTHING about being a little black girl. Thankfully I had a praying grandmother because her children and other relatives only seemed to believe in God when the law and death was involved.

Remember how my grandmother lie dying from cancer in my mother’s bed with me at her side for 35 days straight and all she wanted was to see all of you and most of you NEVER CAME! I remember that and your excuses for not granting a dying maternal member of our family their last wish.

Remember how you lied to me for the past 31 years about my very existence on this earth? Remember all the times you could’ve came clean and told me the truth before letting me uncover a truth that cannot be untold? Do you recall the times you said “That girl should’ve just let the past stay buried?” Do you recall the times, you gossiped about me and my desire to know where I came from in the check-out line at Wal-Mart or how about that time in the grocery store?
Words cannot explain to you how I feel. I have NO IDEA how I even came into existence. You know my truth and won’t even tell me. It is easier for you to sweep my questions and this secret under a rug and fake hug at some holiday dinner rather than explain the truth over a glass of wine. So family, I don’t hate you. I hate the lies you have told and the things you have done and continue to do. I can’t even bear to look at you so I won’t. I know now that I don’t have to be around you or LET you in my life. I’ve accepted that I may never know the truth or hear an apology so I am no longer waiting or expecting one.

I CHOOSE to pursue happiness, live a positive life and not let YOU in. It’s taken me years of therapy to get over how disappointing you are. It took me the past 368 days to come to terms with the realization that you are who you are and it’s not my responsibility to try to change or empower you. It took me 368 days to accept that hiding the truth from ME about my OWN life is more important to you than having me in yours. I don’t have to help you or listen to you lie some more, no thanks! It was challenging to do but I have accepted that I don’t have to care about you or put you first simply because we’re FAMILY!

For every one of you that say I have changed, that is the only thing you have ever gotten right about me. You don’t even know me and I don’t even want you to.
Signed,
Niecy aka Ros


Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t goin’ away.


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Musically Speaking…..Band Edition

As promised I’m back with a fresh batch of creative and talented artists to share with your listening ear. This time around I decided to select my favorite bands/duos because there’s always fun to be had when you collaborate with like minded people. The artists may be new to you or they may already be your favorite band, either way you won’t be disappointed. As I too discover new artists and add them to playlists I am also learning how much I have changed as a singer and as a fan. Songwriting to me, is about evoking a feeling for myself as well as for my listeners. Songwriting starts with 1 drop of inspiration and sometimes that comes from listening to new sounds. I hope you enjoy a few of the bands I’m listening too. If you have a favorite band please comment and I’ll check them out.

lipstickgypsy Lipstick Gypsy ->

Fav Song: Infatuation

Their music is smooth, melodic and gives you memories of the 90s but in an amazing way. The vocals on Infatuation are what drives the song because you can feel the wanting and desire in his voice. They have only released two songs and I love them both.

 

hiatus-kaiyote2<- Hiatus Kaiyote

Fav Songs: Breathing Under Water  & Nakamarra

This band shocked the hell out of me because I was expecting alternative rock music based on their photos but they actually GROOVE hard with a jazz fusion, neo-soul vibe. The lead singer’s voice is incredible. She reminds me of Erykah Badu on some songs.

DNCEDNCE ->

Fav Songs: Their entire newly released EP

I’m a bit biased because I know Jinjoo personally but with Joe Jonas as the lead singer and a kick-ass band you have to expect great music. You won’t be sorry you checked them out and they’ll become your new fav band

intanet<- The Internet

Fav Songs: Girl & Under Control

You just have to listen to the music to understand my love for this band. Sid (lead singer) has an angelic voice and the band is always right in the pocket. Pay attention to their lyrics on the second time you listen 🙂

mihMade in Heights ->

Fav Song: Slow Burn

I discovered this duo on Spotify “Discover Weekly”. Their music is partial EDM, partial pop, partial alternative R&B. Its a great blend of music to run too with tempo changes or chill too on a lazy afternoon.

Alina-Baraz-Urban-Flora-e1412177324142<- Alina Baraz & Galimatias

Fav Song: Anything they do together

I know you’re thinking…all of their songs can’t be your fav but yes, I love them all. Their music is like the most perfect thunderstorm on the most perfect day with the one you love the most. Alina’s lyrics are poetic and Galimatias carries everything with heavenly production. They just wrapped up their first and only tour. I’m sad that I missed it.


Coming up next….the guys I love to sing along too!