Growing up as the oldest of 4, I was stuck by default as the leader, the mentor the prime example. On the other hand I longed for a mentor, an example of a really cool older chick to model my life after. Well that chick never showed up so I learned almost everything through trial and error by doing, listening and watching others fail and succeed.
Over the past 3 years I have been told countless times that I inspire someone. I remember each and every time you’ve told me on text message, on Facebook, on instagram and face to face. Each time it made my heart smile and almost made me tear up. Since I was about 13 I chose to be the kind of person that I didn’t see around me. I chose to be different. I chose to be above my environment and to set goals for myself that my family and friends thought were beyond imaginable. By doing that, I have encountered a bit of negativity from my family and acquaintances who feel that my demeanor lessens their own worth or that I have an heir about me. I set commandments for myself and I live by them. I hold myself to a standard that I hope is pleasing to God first and those around me second to last. I hold myself accountable for everything I say and do and I NEVER blame other people for my own actions. My upbringing wasn’t a field of sunflowers but that doesn’t change my own free will to choose how to live as an adult. I hold everyone around me to high standards as well. You can’t be my friend and be mediocre. You can’t be my lover and be mediocre. I have ended a few potential relationships on the first or second date because I don’t like excuses. You can’t tell me you want to be a fireman but have no visible plan in place to get you there. You can’t tell me you want be the next great fashion designer and spend all of your time partying and on vacation. You dreams and what you do to manifest them into reality is your livelihood. If your life sucks, it’s probably because your dreams suck or maybe they are great but you aren’t doing anything productive to breathe life into them. I don’t dislike mediocre people, I just don’t understand them and I have no space in my life for them. If your goal is to be an amazing stay at home mom or dad then you do that and be DAMN GOOD at it. Make Martha Stewart jealous of how great you are.
I hope you understand that I am grateful that YOU see a light in me, that you feel like I’m someone to follow. But my hope is that YOU take something from me and apply it yourself. My hope is that YOU dream bigger than I am, that your goals are wild and scary but you have a plan to see them through. I live life day to day to day and I will plan things over and over and things still don’t work out. But I don’t QUIT on myself. I complain (a little), I cry (a little) then I pick up my feelings and keep going. I hope above everything else that you take from my life, that you take that and use it.
You never know what you want in life, until IT wants you