And Then There was Phoenix…


I knew Phoenix was going to be amazing when the plane started to descend. I was staring out my window taking in the city skyline, the mountains, the sunset, the buildings, and a great feeling of excitement came over me. I’ll never forget that day because that’s when my intuition kicked in or rather, when I started noticing it. I was 23 when I moved to Phoenix. I was on my 3rd military assignment and fresh on “IDGAF about a relationship”. I seriously had ZERO fucks to give about a relationship. My focus was on finishing school, making money and figuring out my next career move.  About a month after arriving in Phoenix, I was settled into a new apartment, I bought a car and my new office was pretty cool. It was the first time I was in charge at work so that was a welcome adjustment and challenge. I was fully focused on my goals and things were going according to plan.


About 3 months in, I met a guy we shall call Dreams. Now I’m not calling him that because he was my dream but because he was full of dreams. He was the type of man with all these ideas about what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go but he lacked ambition. You’d think that because I was so goal oriented that we would’ve clashed but NOPE! He was easy to talk to, easy on the eyes with an incredible body and he was actually quite smart. Our relationship was purely physical and I was 100% ok with that. We even sat down and made rules…not many but some. The most important was to be honest with one another if we ever decided to get a relationship with anyone else. We never asked one another many questions and we never went anywhere besides home. I was so busy with school, my career and a second job that I liked things the way they were between us. He knew I was busy so sometimes he’d cook for me, he’d rub my feet and he wrote me poems. We were like a modern day Poetic Justice. I texted or called and he was there within an hour. The sex was amazing, passionate and exhausting. We continued on a high like that for a few months but eventually all good things must come to an end.  The end came abruptly because Dreams lied to me and I found out about it on social media. He had a girlfriend in another state and she was moving to Phoenix. My number 1 rule as a WOMAN is to NEVER EVER date or knowingly sleep with another woman’s man. Thou just shall not do it! So I called him on his shit and he was honest (by default) because he was caught but things between us ended. I wasn’t devastated or heartbroken and neither was he because love was never a factor for us. I continued with my life as if nothing had even happened.  We still talked from time to time and he and his girlfriend  eventually broke up over something unrelated to me. But life moved on.


I got back to the grind and things started to go downhill for me because my grandmother’s cancer was progressing and she decided that she was too tired to continue her treatments. She was the center of my universe and I became numb to everything when she told me. I prepared myself for her leaving as best as I could. I prayed and cried a lot but I was always happy when we spoke on the phone. My job let me take a month off to go be with her and I knew that would be the last 30 days of her life. We sat in bed all day watching CSI, the Price is Right, Jeopardy and listening to gospel music. It was then that I realized just how short life truly is. I was grateful that she lived long enough to see me graduate school and join the military. I had made something of myself. More than most thought I’d ever be because I was born into poverty to a teenage mom, before 16 and Pregnant was a stupid t.v. show. I defied the odds of my circumstances and she’d witnessed it all. But what about my wedding (I didn’t have a man). What about my babies ( I’ve never been pregnant). What about when I wanted to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the first time? Who was going to coach me through that? I stopped focusing on a future without her and tried to enjoy the time I had left with her. My best friend from Georgia was right there with me, helping me through it. My grandmother passed away the day after Easter and a part of me left with her and I haven’t felt the same since she left.

Shortly after that I returned to Phoenix

and that’s when I met Mr.Louisiana…..



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