You’re a Friend and a Confidant….


I met my first best friend, Songbird when I was in 7th grade.  I was used to meeting people and not really getting close because we moved a lot. I never stayed a school long enough to be friends again the next school year. She and I were kindred spirits. We sang together and even started a girl group determined to be the next TLC or Destiny’s Child.  We shared all of our secrets, tears and heartbreaks. Our friendship lasted throughout high school and that seems like ages ago. We’re no longer super close because the plans we made as BFFs fell through after I didn’t get a scholarship to college. I joined the military and she went off to college. We don’t really talk now but we’re not enemies….life just drifted us a part but she’ll always be my first best friend and I’ll be hers.

My next bestie was a beautiful, spoiled, woman whom I adored and loved. We came from similar backgrounds and bonded over that. She remembered me from some military training and reached out to me. We talked all the time and helped each other cope with our new lives in the military.  We lived in different cities but we visited each other so life never skipped a beat. She and I experienced so many crazy ups and downs together as our first few years as Airmen. I always thought we’d be in each other lives till the grave but somehow we too drifted a part. I can’t think of why we don’t talk anymore I just realized that one day we stopped talking. Sometimes I miss her and her personality but maybe our season was just expired.

Multi-ethnic friends drinking in nightclub

When life became the hardest for me I moved to England and met one of the strongest women I know. She was opinionated, smart,wise, honest and everyone loved her.  She helped me get through some of the worst times I had experienced at that point. My grandmother’s death and a manipulative abusive relationship. She helped me take care of my family when I couldn’t do it alone. I’ll forever be grateful for her and I’ll always be there for her whenever she needs me. She recently became a mother and that little girl has the best role model any child could ever have. She’s the best friend any woman would be happy to have.

After I moved to Phoenix I met two women around the same time period. They were both so different and so similar at the same time. One was my “turn up” buddy. The other was my “Sunday dinner” buddy. Together the 3 of us were 3 peas in the pod. We shopped, made youtube videos about life in our 20s. We experienced dating in Phoenix, lame guys in Phoenix, broken hearts , being dumped, club fights (yes club fights), we held each other’s hands and hair when we drank too much. We skinny dipped in pools, shopped at Forever21  every weekend (I know, I know), we did everything together and life was better  because we had each other. Our last few times together we took trips to Vegas, L.A and Atlanta. The memories we shared will always be etched in my heart and I’m already excited for the next time I’ll see one of my friends because I’ll be by her side at her wedding in May 🙂

I have no idea if I’ll make new girlfriends in the future or be as close to anyone else as I was and still am to most of these women. I’m not against it at all but looking back I feel really blessed because I’ve had more sisterhood bonds with women than some women will ever experience. In today’s world most women have no problem saying “I don’t trust females” or ” I don’t hang with females”. Living in L.A. I miss real friendships with women who support each other and have no ulterior motive. I miss being friends because we like each others personalities and not because we like what we can do for each other.

If no one else comes after my past and current friends I’m OK with that because I’ve met the best friends the world has to offer already. Thank you ladies for being my friend!



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