As I sit here staring at a really old photo of my Grandmother and little bitty me the only thought that rings clear is, “Baby girl don’t ever lie to yourself.” In life we all tell lies, some we deem as little lies and others are major lies. In the mind of my grandmother, a lie was a lie and there’s no good in it. Looking back I realize that I have indeed lied to myself to make myself or someone else feel better about things when I should have yelled loudly that I’m not cool with __________! (fill in the blank) We all lie to ourselves about things. We lie at work when we don’t really have time or space to fit in another thing but we do so anyway because of what our boss may think. We lie to our friends when they ask our opinions on their lives because we don’t want to be too real or don’t want to deal with their reaction. We lie to kids about everything because we don’t want to crush their imagination or fascination with the world around them. We lie to our parents because we don’t want them to worry about us if they knew the truth. Bottom line is we lie and we rationalize it within ourselves to make ourselves not feel bad about it. But when we’re alone looking in the mirror at ourselves, are we finally honest?
Right now I’m facing a lot. My life is on the cusp of change (again) and I welcome it because it’s new but I’m also afraid because it’s uncertain. I promise myself that I’m going to be honest with ME as I make my way toward the future. Time is precious and we should all treats ours as such. I’ve honestly tolerated certain people as if I owed them my time when the truth is I don’t owe them anything. I have taken a lot of crap from my family members simply because we’re family. The truth is even family can be dismissed if it means living a happy and peaceful life. When I look in the mirror at myself I’m happy with how far I’ve come but I’m also in a quiet panic about where I am. I’m not where I want to be at this age but I’m not dead yet either. So each morning when I look at myself I remind myself that I’m driven by purpose and striving to live a purpose filled life. I question everything and ask myself what purpose does this serve? How is this helping me grow? What’s the lesson here? Are my actions pleasing to my Creator? We’ll drive ourselves mad by never being honest with the best person on our team….yourself! So to little me I say don’t worry everything will be fine if you always remember the words of Polonius in Hamlet:
“To Thy Own Self Be True” – Shakespeare