BLACK /blak/ adjective
1. of the very darkest color owing to the absence of or complete absorption of light; the opposite of white
2. of any human group having dark-colored skin, especially of African or Australian Aboriginal ancestry
*Let me preface this by saying that you may become offended as you continue to read my words. This isn’t a white-bashing because ignorance knows no color. Just so happens right now a line is drawn in the sand and two races are on opposite sides. You may un-follow my blog and that’s ok with me.*
I am a Black woman in America. I’m not African American. I’m not Afro American. I am a black woman in America. I recently saw a friend mention on social media that we as black people do NOT know our lineage beyond our great-grand parents maybe great-great grandparents if we’re lucky. America likes to forget the stain it has on its history books with Africans not African American but Africans and the human dignity it stole from an entire race of people. Africans were not even deemed important enough to have their births and deaths documented in America. My history is lost. I have no idea whose blood run through my veins or wether or not a crown should truly be on my head or not. Are you royalty? Were your ancestors running shit in Africa? Dear AMERICA, those of us here now are AMERICANS and that’s that.
How is it that Native Americans (the first true actual Americans) have been given apologies and millions in reparations while the descendants of Africans, the very people that built this country have been given nothing absolutely nothing. No you can’t tell me that it’s because Native Americans organized and fought legally for their land back because BLACK people have done the same for years and continue to do so and come up empty handed every time. White America feels as if African Americans (the name they gave us) deserve and is owed nothing. We’re told to work hard in a system that is set up NOT to make us wealthy but to keep us hoping and dreaming that one day we may become good enough to be accepted by the majority and yet we are called lazy for waking up and refusing to play along. Explain to me how we are deemed as a LAZY race of people when millions of our ancestors worked enslaved for FREE for 400 years while WHITE people just sat back and reaped the benefits? If you want to be technical, African slavery was the economic boom that kept white people from running back to Europe defeated while Native Americans and their skillsets was what kept them alive. So white people what the Fuck did you actually do for America?
I LOVE being Black. If I could surgically be lighter or whiter I wouldn’t do it. My chocolate skin is a part of my definition. It’s a part of my sexiness and my allure. My skin tells a story before I even speak and that’s a CROSS I have to bear as a Black person. I despise Black people who swear they are a shade/color aka “light-skin” when they are NOT. You know the type of black person that lowkey and has colorism/self-esteem issues but doesn’t acknowledge it. You need a hug and lesson in self love because when most white people see you, you’re just another black person aka a stereotype waiting to happen not a light-skinned person. When the cops see you, you’re certainly not a “wanna be light skinned” person you’re just a Nigga With an Attitude. Point blank!
I don’t need to hear another story about another black person being killed or assaulted by a white person with a “mental illness”, a cop who wasn’t shit in high school or a rent-a-cop who didn’t have what it took to be a real cop to know that we are being targeted. This isn’t new. Social media and the way we are all connected makes it easier now for news to travel farther faster. I’m tired, angry and scared because my life matters. I have goals, hopes, dreams, plans and aspirations. I can be Sandra Bland or Trayvon Martin easily. I fear for my family and my friends because we’re Black and for no other reason than that. I don’t associate with thugs so I shouldn’t be afraid to wake up and hear that they were gunned down or assulted but I know that it’s possible because to outside society we seem to all be targets just waiting our turn.
- If I die while I’m with someone else especially a cop know that THEY KILLED ME. I didn’t kill myself. I believe in God, heaven and hell and I would NEVER kill myself and risk eternal damnation.
- I always pull out my phone when I’m around cops especially if I’m being pulled over and I tell the cops I’m filming it. If my phone is missing the cops took it.
- I don’t hate the police I just fear them just like they seem to fear me.
- If I’m ever in custody I did ask for a lawyer, my boyfriend and my mama in that order.
- If I die at the hands of police violence I want you all to take to the internet, the streets and media to let them know my life mattered. I meant something to the world. I was important and I deserved to live.