It’s Just Dating…

dāt/ verb
gerund or present participle: dating

5: to go together regularly on romantic social engagements

Couple enjoying dinner

The purpose of dating is to find companionship and also to learn about another person as well as yourself. Sometimes you find out after just one date that you and another person just aren’t meant to be. Other times it takes a few months or maybe a few years to figure out that someone is not who you wanted them to be. But before you reach the serious commitment phase also known as the relationship you have to DATE. Dating should be a fun experience. You get to go out with an attractive stranger, wear something nice or accommodating for the date. You can talk about yourself and listen to them talk about themselves. You get to ask questions and get to know one another. Hopefully you’ll laugh and talk about everything and nothing on the first few dates and get a vibe on whether or not you actually feel a connection with this person. The more time you spend with them on real DATES outside of your homes and out in public enjoying each others company the more you should start to decide wether or not the connection you may feel is worth pursuing and investing more time or if you should just cut your loses and bid your suitor farewell. That’s all dating is, deciding if a connection with someone is worth BOTH of your time and effort in the long run. A lot of times we make dating seem so hard because we go into it seeking something that the other person may not live up to….a husband or wife.

You may find a great man or woman who meets or appears to meet all of your mental criteria. They seem perfect for you at first so you jump into serious mode and decide after only a short amount of time that you’re ready to jump into a relationship with this person. After investing time, money, sexual and emotional energy into the relationship you discover that you two are not all that compatible. They actually don’t even like the same things you like and don’t even share the same life goals as you. You were simply misguided by physical attraction, attention, good conversation and maybe a few fun dates so you thought this person was the one. Now you’re left starting over….again and can’t figure out why. It’s because you’re dating wrong! A person will say and do all the right things in the beginning because it’s the beginning and that’s a first impression. After time goes by the real true person always shows up and you have to be patient enough and wise enough to be able to tell the difference between charm and genuine character.  Don’t be too hasty to jump into a commitment or share your body with another person if you desire something deeper. Remember dating is supposed to be fun and it doesn’t have to be sexual or physical until you’re sure you’re ready mentally for that. Sure you can feel butterflies in your stomach and maybe even in your vagina when he texts you or when he hugs you and you inhale his scent but girl you don’t have to part open Pandora’s box just yet if you can’t handle casual sex and just dating.


The long haul goal of dating is to find someone who gives you a vibe you can’t find anywhere else. Ultimately you want to find the one person who can’t live without you and you can’t live without them, but that takes time.  You can’t go into the first few dates expecting to fall in love with the person across from you. Go into it open-minded because they may not be the one for you but they may turn into a great friend or business partner, they may even introduce you to your soul mate. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 and reading this and just starting your dating career or 48 and single and  feel like your dating career is over, there’s something to be learned here….You’re worthy of getting to know so relax enjoy the date and let someone get to know you.

If you’re dating a loser, it’s because you had a choice!


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