Why Your Ex….Should Stay Your Ex!



noun: ex; plural noun: exes
a former husband, wife, or partner in a relationship
There will come a time when someone you fell out of love with will resurface and you’ll be faced with a choice. Do you allow them back in  your life and see where this could go or do you listen to that small voice inside? Here’s my take on why history should stay historical, of course you have free will to make your own choice wisely!
  • Think backwards and start at the end, the worst part of things. Remember why you are no longer together. What drove you to walk away? Remember the heart-break, the embarrassment, and most importantly remember how you thought you were going to DIE without them. Think about the recovery process you went through to get them out of your system. Look at you now living, happy, healthy and doing GREAT without them. If the breakup wasn’t on bad terms, still think back to what drove the two of you a part. No one walks away from a perfectly good relationship for absolutely no reason.
  • Now that you have thought about the worst part of the past now think about the changes you’ve made to become the best version of yourself right now. You’re no longer who you were in that relationship. Of course you might still like action movies and Chinese food but you’ve also graduated college, moved to a new city, had a child or simply changed as a whole being. You’ve evolved & you think differently. If you’re honest with yourself, you know some of your life changes were because of the hardships your EX caused in your life.  You only have memories of the old versions of one another. You have no idea who this person is now. Maybe your EX has changed for the better, maybe not. Chances are the two of you don’t fit together anymore.


  • Now that time has passed and you’re no longer in love you can look at your EX clearly. You can see all of their mental and physical flaws and you probably won’t like what you see. If you allow yourself to meet up with your EX for a coffee or dinner to catch up you’ll pay attention to all the little things you overlooked before. You’ll question yourself about why you were ever even interested in this person in the first place. Bottom line is, whatever attracted you to them and made you fall in love is no longer there.
  • Question the motive behind why you even may be considering giving your EX a chance. Why is your EX all of a sudden interested in you? How much time has passed since you have broken up? Did their life fall a part recently and now they want to lean on you for support? Question everything!! What are you going through right now that makes this false sense of security with your EX feel comfortable? Do you think you deserve to be back with someone who hurt you and left the knife in your heart? What are they going through that has them reaching out to you so effortlessly?  You owe your EX nothing. You don’t have to be hateful, spiteful or vengeful but you don’t owe them empathy, conversation, friendship and certainly not a second, third or fourth chance to get it right.

While you’re thinking about giving your EX another chance the one for you could be walking right past you. Don’t miss out on your future because you’re hanging on to the past. I do believe in second chances, I just don’t believe that every situation warrants one.

Time waits for no man…


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