“Be careful, they said, boys will say anything to get in your pants”. It goes without saying that I took the warnings to heart and ran with it. I’m the product of a teen mom with multiple kids. Every mother I knew growing up was young, unmarried, receiving some type of government assistance, working lots of hours trying to make ends meet and the fathers were barely involved. Looking back that was a great tool to use to inadvertently guarantee that I would keep my head in the books and keep my legs closed. To my family, I first reached success when I turned 16 and hadn’t had a baby yet. Next came highshool graduation and still…no baby! Seriously my entire family thought that I was going to be exactly like my mom and everyone else around us. Nobody had a clue just how drastically differently I’d actually be.
Like many young women I made the choice to NOT have children in my 20s and certainly not while I was serving on active duty in the military. It’s not an accident that I’ve never been pregnant just as I feel that it’s not an accident to become pregnant. I went to my doctor talked about birth control, tried a few methods and settled on the one that worked for me long-term. I wanted to enjoy my 20s without the extra stresses and responsibility of parenting. Being on active duty, deploying around the world for long periods at a time is hard enough. I couldn’t imagine leaving my baby behind for 6 months to a year and what if I don’t make it back? I KNOW 1000% my choice was the most responsible choice a person could ever make for themselves. If you know you’re not ready to be a parent, take steps to ensure you don’t become one!
I also am kind of vain (who isn’t?) When I think of pregnancy I get anxiety thinking about the changes my body will go through. I’m 5’2 and petite. I wonder if I can really do it….give birth…gasp! In my mind I imagine my future pregnancy to be fun, glamorous, life changing and just a majestic experience. I mean my basic purpose as a woman is to bring forth life and that alone makes me feel like a superhero. In my mind I picture myself looking super fierce like Blake Lively in this photo, as I strut through LA headed to my posh doctors office on the cusp of Beverly Hills.
But in reality I know that pregnancy is 9 months long and 6 of those months are probably spent with achy feet, a sore back and limbs from carrying around a little creature who eats half if not more of what you ingest. My hair may thin, my nails may grow, my skin may glow or hell it may even get dry and itchy…you just never really know. I’ve been close to two pregnant women and their experiences were drastically different. I do know that life as a pregnant woman is an emotional journey and it doesn’t end when you give birth. Most mothers tell me, giving birth is the easiest part. I’m already a tad dramatic and very passionate about my ideas. I also go through 10 different moods sans pregnancy in one day and sometimes a bit anti-social so I think a more realistic view of my future pregnancy is Christina Milian serving the paps agitated face. But I’ll still be on the way to my doctor’s office on the cusp of Beverly Hills because I love my doctor.
Now that I’m barely in my 30s EVERYONE is inquisitive about my fertility. Someone even asked me about freezing my eggs. I replied, they’ve been watching too much “Being Mary Jane”. Another person asked me if I even wanted children. My response to them was only if they were going to help me raise them, pay for everything including private schools and college. I’ve adopted a tactic of smart and sharp-witted answers to throw off everyone who inquires about the status of my uterus. Quite frankly it’s none of their business. If I never have children, that’s my choice. I’m aware of the science behind human biology, anatomy and reproduction. I know that my eggs won’t be “good” forever. I’m also not caving under any pressure to hurry up and conceive. I don’t necessarily feel that I have to be married, own a home, and have a huge chunk of change in the bank to have a child but all of those things do make life easier as parents. At this point in my life I’m not against having a baby but I’m not going to plan it either. Don’t tell me how you think I’m going to feel at 40 or 40 plus when I may or may not find out how useless my reproductive organs have become. YOU ARE NOT MY DOCTOR or MY GOD! I don’t have to tell you my medical history or take your unsolicited medical advice. If you don’t want to hear me loudly say, ” Stop worrying about my uterus” don’t ask me baby questions! WE are happy in our current state of being and that clock can keep on ticking.
Kids come with a no refunds and no exchange policy….remember that!