Be A Good Girl Friend…

living single

I’ve been living in L.A. for 3 years and my circle of girl friends is relatively  small in this city. I mean really small as in almost doesn’t even exist . I have made TWO friends since I’ve been here and one of them was in the last month of 2015. Don’t go feeling sorry for me because I’m not sad about it at all. I live in a city people flock to, to make their dreams a reality, so most “friendships” are fickle and very see through. People usually only want to be around you to use you for something or in a few cases when people find out how good you are at your craft they feel threatened as if there isn’t space for the both of you in the industry. Outside of L.A. I have a network of friendships that span countries and time, some going back over 10 years and some are almost a decade younger than I am. Those women are my support system, they uplift me and keep me moving forward even without seeing each other or talking regularly. In today’s fast paced world of social media, reality t.v. and technology, it’s no secret that the ugly side of girl friends is drug the pits of friendship hell and put on display for the entire universe to see. Like many of you, I often see or hear about the latest feuds between reality t.v. “friends”, pseudo-celebs (social media famous) feuding and airing all their “friendship” business on twitter, snapchat or tumblr. Each time, I cringe because in no way, shape or form would I ever do that to my friends and then make up and be friends taking selfies together a few weeks or months later.

So here’s my guide to how to NOT BE LIKE the scripted women you see on T.V. & social media doing it for “likes, follows or re-tweets”. I hope you enjoy and learn something :

(In no particular order)

Rule #1-  Don’t Be Petty….

nene-leakes-kenya-moore-that-grape-juice-entertainment-2014-800-600x335…unless of course you are being petty TOGETHER and not towards each other.  There is absolutely nothing worse for a friendship than being petty or doing so simply because the other person is. It makes you both look immature and could kill things between you too. So before you press send on that rude ass text message…put the phone down and just don’t respond right away or ever. Who knows what she’s in her feelings about and it may not even have anything to do with you. We all have our days, so unless your friend is #teampetty all the time, let her slide sometimes. In the event that she is always #teampetty it’s time to reevaluate your friendship and consider why you’re even still friends with her.

Rule #2 – Be There…and Not Just For the “Turn-Up”

girlfriends8Life is hard out here as a millennial trying to conquer the world and still look cute. We are friends because we need each other on our journeys towards greatness so act like it always. A good girl friend is there for you when you are having a melt down over your latest crush and also there for you when you want to celebrate getting promoted, turning 30 and so on.  Don’t become known as the friend that’s always down to vacation and party but never responds to texts or answers the phone at odd hours when your girl really needs your shoulder to cry on. Her problems might not be a big deal to you because you easily see the solution but a good girl friend is still there to listen and make her friend feel a little better.

Rule #3 – Keep Her Business to Yourself

girlfriends10No matter how hot the tea is, you have no business sharing it, not even with your other friends. Let your girl friend share her news on her own time and not be forced to clarify anything because you opened your big mouth. That is the quickest way to lose trust and create a rift between you two. Even if it’s good news such as an engagement, CLOSE YOUR MOUTH until she lets you know you can share. If you aren’t the type who can keep secrets because of your excitement then its OK to share that with your friends so you won’t get yourself into any unpleasant situations.

Rule #4 – Have Her Back…Always

anigif_mobile_3cb367a8f3b80ac7f9eeb552d73cda3f-3Sometimes you may be around people who don’t care for your friend or maybe just are jealous of her. The best thing for you to do is to always have your friend’s back! Don’t indulge in the gossip because it will make you look 10x worse. You’re supposed to be HER bestie and you’re only adding fuel to the haters fire (and they’ll gossip  about your lack of loyalty). Stay true to your friend and shut down the gossip about her, set them straight about her and remove yourself from the situation and of course you must tell her asap.  My only question when people tell me what someone else said about is, “what did you say about me in my defense”? Don’t be the girl who indulges in all the gossip no matter who it’s about.

Rule #5 – Always be REAL

Living-SingleIf you’re not a fashionista that’s OK. If you’re not a book enthusiast that’s OK. If you really really really love Comic-Con that’s OK. We just want  you to be you…always. Don’t try to morph into your friend and take on all of their likes and passions in life. Be yourself because nobody else can be you. The best friendships are formed when people have a genuine connection and mutual respect for one another. Your good friends can always tell when you’re not being authentic and good friends will always call you out on it so always be YOU. You don’t have to like all the same things or even people to be friends.

Rule #6 Always SLAY 

tumblr_mua5d0jbcn1qzc4cao1_500

I know this rule may sound very vain but think about it….who lets their best friends go out looking anything less than snatched? Even if its a low-key day in tights, tees and sneakers you can pull it together in a cute around the way kind of outfit with some hoops and winged liner and pop of color on the lips. Real friends slay together and never leave one another behind. There’s nothing worse than seeing “friends” out together and one of them looks stunning head to toe while the other one looks like a she just got off the late shift at the 24/7 super center. Come on….don’t let your friends outside looking like that, not even on her worst day. A fresh face and a nice outfit can brighten any day 🙂


 

Of course this list isn’t all inclusive and maybe you don’t even agree but based on my experiences and friendships…these few basic principles are always foundations for long friendships. Remember, it even says in the bible, love your neighbor as you love yourself. So how you treat your friends is really a true reflection of how you feel about yourself.  Feel free to share with me below if you have your own rules for girl friends!


Good friends are like the little voice in your head reimagined in human form


 

 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Be A Good Girl Friend…

Leave a message....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s