Respect our Service…

I am a woman and I’m a veteran. I joined the military BEFORE 9/11 & I stayed after we went to war. I’ve been deployed 6 times. I drove away from a chow hall and 10 minutes later it was hit by a rocket.  My unit lost me in Afghanistan and placed me in missing status for 31 days. Mentally I feel like there’s nothing I can’t endure. After surviving war and waking up to hearing rockets, gunfire and feeling the earth shake from bombs dropping…I’m not afraid of much. My story isn’t that unique because there are so many women just like me with stories just like mine and some are worse.

Yesterday was Veteran’s Day and I dread it each year.  I don’t like telling people about my service affiliation because I usually hate their reactions. People act so shocked when I say I’m a veteran, even at Veterans Affairs offices and clinics. People always say I don’t look a Veteran. They assume I’m too young, too put together or too smart. I always look at them bewildered because there’s no particular mold for what WE are supposed to look  or act like. Women veterans are taking care of you at hospitals, teaching your kids at schools, running businesses, dancing in music videos, hosting parties, modeling, acting in some of your favorite shows, writing some of your favorite songs, becoming social media sensations and so much more. None of us look-alike but we are a part of the same sisterhood because nobody understands what life in uniform is like but us. Its sad enough that the military is truly a man’s world and they simply accommodate women. We don’t need to go back to life outside of uniform and feel stigmatized. Don’t act ignorant when you meet us. Don’t downplay our military service because we’re pretty, petite, fashionable, have perfect makeup or are “ladylike”.  Women veterans are weapons marksman, we can clear buildings and ensure safety, we can launch rockets, we drive tanks and Humvees, we can take weapons apart in record time and put them back together perfectly, some of us are martial arts experts and can take you down in one hit.

We’re women and we’re veterans. We don’t look-alike, we usually don’t hangout together in packs and we’re often the hardest working women you’ve ever worked alongside of.  We’re disciplined, we’re honest and we’re fiercely independent so please…..

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Respect our service.

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You’re a Friend and a Confidant….

I met my first best friend, Songbird when I was in 7th grade.  I was used to meeting people and not really getting close because we moved a lot. I never stayed a school long enough to be friends again the next school year. She and I were kindred spirits. We sang together and even started a girl group determined to be the next TLC or Destiny’s Child.  We shared all of our secrets, tears and heartbreaks. Our friendship lasted throughout high school and that seems like ages ago. We’re no longer super close because the plans we made as BFFs fell through after I didn’t get a scholarship to college. I joined the military and she went off to college. We don’t really talk now but we’re not enemies….life just drifted us a part but she’ll always be my first best friend and I’ll be hers.

My next bestie was a beautiful, spoiled, woman whom I adored and loved. We came from similar backgrounds and bonded over that. She remembered me from some military training and reached out to me. We talked all the time and helped each other cope with our new lives in the military.  We lived in different cities but we visited each other so life never skipped a beat. She and I experienced so many crazy ups and downs together as our first few years as Airmen. I always thought we’d be in each other lives till the grave but somehow we too drifted a part. I can’t think of why we don’t talk anymore I just realized that one day we stopped talking. Sometimes I miss her and her personality but maybe our season was just expired.

When life became the hardest for me I moved to England and met one of the strongest women I know. She was opinionated, smart,wise, honest and everyone loved her.  She helped me get through some of the worst times I had experienced at that point. My grandmother’s death and a manipulative abusive relationship. She helped me take care of my family when I couldn’t do it alone. I’ll forever be grateful for her and I’ll always be there for her whenever she needs me. She recently became a mother and that little girl has the best role model any child could ever have. She’s the best friend any woman would be happy to have.

After I moved to Phoenix I met two women around the same time period. They were both so different and so similar at the same time. One was my “turn up” buddy. The other was my “Sunday dinner” buddy. Together the 3 of us were 3 peas in the pod. We shopped, made youtube videos about life in our 20s. We experienced dating in Phoenix, lame guys in Phoenix, broken hearts , being dumped, club fights (yes club fights), we held each other’s hands and hair when we drank too much. We skinny dipped in pools, shopped at Forever21  every weekend (I know, I know), we did everything together and life was better  because we had each other. Our last few times together we took trips to Vegas, L.A and Atlanta. The memories we shared will always be etched in my heart and I’m already excited for the next time I’ll see one of my friends because I’ll be by her side at her wedding in May 🙂

I have no idea if I’ll make new girlfriends in the future or be as close to anyone else as I was and still am to most of these women. I’m not against it at all but looking back I feel really blessed because I’ve had more sisterhood bonds with women than some women will ever experience. In today’s world most women have no problem saying “I don’t trust females” or ” I don’t hang with females”. Living in L.A. I miss real friendships with women who support each other and have no ulterior motive. I miss being friends because we like each others personalities and not because we like what we can do for each other.

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If no one else comes after my past and current friends I’m OK with that because I’ve met the best friends the world has to offer already. Thank you ladies for being my friend!

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